Fear of the unknown

So the time has come. In a few hours' time, at 4pm on 21 September 2010 to be exact, I will give myself completely to the orthopaedic of my choice and my left knee will be operated upon. Surgery would involve reconstructing the torn ACL. Since the ligament is detached from the bone, avulsed) then the bony fragment is reattached. Surgical reconstruction of the torn ACL is performed using either an extraarticular technique (taking a structure that lies outside the joint capsule such as a portion of the hamstring tendon) or an intraarticular technique (using a structure from within the knee such as part of the patellar tendon) which will replace the anterior cruciate ligament. That, at least is how I how understand the procedure to be.

As this is my first time going under the knife, I am feeling extremely apprehensive, especially since I am going under general anaesthesia. I have this (unfounded, so they say) fear that I will not wake up again. It's just the whole nature of artificially inducing me to sleep (chemically) that gets my goat. My fears were allayed somewhat after speaking with the anaesthetist and some of my friends who themselves have gone under the knife before.

Its a long recovery ahead, make no mistake- my knee will be in a brace for sometime and I will be hobbling about in crutches, not to mention the physiotherapy which I have been told, will be extremely painful. I am trying to take a positive view of this- and I'm quoting what Viggo Mortensen's character said in Demi Moore's movie G.I. Jane- something along the lines of "Pain is your friend, your ally, it will tell you when you are seriously injured, it will keep you awake and angry, and remind you to finish the job and get the hell home. But you know the best thing about pain? It lets you know you're not dead yet!!!"

So here's to being alive! And recovering and getting stronger for it!