NB Pacesetters 15k

PM19 reporting from a cybercafe. I had a pretty bad race on Sunday's 15k.

My finishing time was disappointing, and I can't really offer any excuses. And I don't want to. At best, all I can say is that I had a really off day. I am happy about one thing though- I continued pushing as hard as I possibly could, despite the way I felt. In the end, on that day, at least I can say that I gave it my very best. I fought my inner demons to quit and ran the whole race.

I hadn't run since Thursday. I rested on Friday and Saturday, and despite my previous blog downplaying my hopes for the 15k race, I had hoped to run a faster time than my ultimate finishing time. I felt confident. Physically and mentally, I felt fresh.

I had rested the whole of Saturday with naps. I did go and watch Revenge of the Sith (a 930pm screening at Berjaya Times Square) and reached home late, but I felt that I had enough rest by then.

When I arrived at the Lake Gardens carpark, it was already full but I saw Azwar's car parked on the yellow line and I slotted my car behind his. Walked with him to the starting line but not before greeting a few friends along the way. Nelson, Kenneth, Ronnie, Li Sar, Kenny were among them. There was a buzz of excitement. I could feel it.

The race started at 7am sharp. After the initial hills, we were onto the main road that led us towards Bank Negara. I already sensed that something was wrong- I was feeling more winded than usual. I was already suffering! Somehow my legs also lacked its usual zip. The sides of my calves were lactic acid laden. Still I persisted, but it didn't get better. Along the roads leading to Bukit Tunku, I huffed and puffed. Looking at my watch and the km marker, I was running at 4:18 pace. But I was really suffering. As it turned out in the preceding kilometers, my pace slowed.

As I started my ascent to the double hill, Azwar passed me, and I offered no resistance. Then Kenny passed me. Ditto response (i.e NONE). More people passed me, and I just could not summon anything within me to respond.

Past Bukit Tunku and onto the main road, it was a matter of hanging on. Yes, it was that bad. Thoughts of DNFing crossed my mind as I entered the long and windy road of the Sultan's palace. John Tan had passed me before that. As I passed the National Monument onto the traffic light, I looked at my watch and saw my time 55:32. The km marker had stated that it was the 12km mark. 3k or so to go.

I plodded along the Carcosa route, and it was sheer hell. I was overtaken there by another runner. My breathing was extremely laboured. My legs? Absolutely dead. More thoughts of DNFing crossed my mind. I just wanted to quit. Then I thought- it was already so close to the end, I might as well complete the race. And besides, DNFing is a coward's way out. Like tanking in tennis, where you lose deliberately. Or when you take a dive in boxing. Whatever it is, it is a coward's way of dealing with poor performance. So I continued.

As I went back into the Lake Gardens towards the finishing line, I knew my running form was ragged. It was just a matter of surviving. I completed the race in 1:08 and change.

Changed and went back to the race to hang out with other friends and have some breakfast. One key moment was when I spoke to Ajeep and he told me that he had heard I was off form, to which I replied that maybe I was overtrained. And he said something along the lines of "You've been the one advising all of us to rest, and now you also do the same thing". Ouch. Very very ouch. That really drove a stake through my heart. I tried to remain cheerful, but that statement was very painful. I began to wonder whether I was really overtrained?

I was (in fact still am) disappointed. I'm trying to conduct a post-mortem on what had happened. Was I over trained? Physically I felt fine. My heart rate wasn't elevated, my legs were not aching, and my mind wasn't jaded in the days leading to the race. In fact I was probably over excited with the race. Maybe I psyched myself out. Then again I was already suffering from the start of the race, despite having run at that same pace so comfortably in previous workouts. I dunno. I can only speculate that I had a completely off day. Just way off. I was never comfortable at any point in the race. My body just didn't respond.

I will recover from this disappointment. I was happy to win the fight against my inner demons who were calling on me to quit. It would have been an easy way out. This is a mere bump on the road. One bad race does not turn me into a "bad" runner overnight. Yes, I wanted to run a faster time but it was just an off day for me. It is how I bounce back from this slight "setback" that will define me. One should remember now only the successes experienced, but also (and perhaps more importantly) the failures, for both serve to teach us valuable lesssons.

On a side note, I wonder how Jamie has done in his race at Bangkok. In fact I wonder how his holiday was. He should be back by now. I guess he will detail his experience in his blog.

I will be back!

In the meantime I will just take it easy for the next week. I bruised my knee last night, hitting the table. Now there's a nice beautiful bruise the size of a 20 sen coin on my inner left knee. I will be on leave on Tuesday.

Short term plan? Get the hell outta this cyber cafe and have some red wine. That should help ease some of the pain.